Thursday, September 07, 2006

How I became the most infamous 1L in law school (Part 2)

Last time on great tales of the slackers, we learned how I managed to survive two days of bombardments of questions from Contracts Professor, the most feared teacher at my law school. We learned of the slacker’s worst nightmare, to be called on and grilled all the time in Contract Professor’s class. This is both thoroughly unenjoyable and interferes with proper slacking. See Part I

By now the school counselor had heard of me because of students complaining that they did not want to be grilled like me. (Still trying to figure out why students compalined in detial about how specific other students get grilled, but I appreciate the empathy)

So how did I manage to outsmart a Rhodes Scholar into stop calling on me?

So I was sitting in class after getting grilled about the UCC, looking at the several Mr. Questions Guys constantly raise there hand and not being called on. I was thinking, it serves them right for being pompous pricks and raising there hand for everything.

And then it hit me, like the apple hit Newton.

I must do the most unthinkable thing possible.

I had noticed that there is one thing that Contract Professor avoids like the bubonic plague: Our friend Mr. Question Guy. He can not stand the Mr. Question Guys of the class and never calls on them, ever.

I had to become Mr. Question Guy. If I ascribed to this philosophy that I most try to avoid then Contracts Professor would surely not call on me. I could return to slacker equilibrium.

This new theory of mine had one unfortunate consequence. I actually needed to study the cases well. If he called on me I better know the case, so that I can take away all the fun of him grilling me.

So cue the 80’s montage and picture me struggling to turn pages in my contracts book and as the montage continues me reading a whole lot more and briefing. Then picture me at the end of the montage being ready for Contracts Professor.

The next class came and somehow by the middle of the class, Contracts Professor had still not called on me. The class was discussing the most difficult part of the case. A good chunk of people had been called on and were unable to get the answer to the case.

I decided it was time to make my move. I raised my hand.

There were several other people with there hands up and one guy in the class that he was currently grilling. Cutting off the guy mid-sentence, Contracts Professor responds.

“Please excuse me for interrupting you, but the temptation to call on Mr. Slacker is too high right now”

Then I nailed it. Nothing more needed to be added. Contracts Professor was clearly impressed and somewhat shocked that a slacker could come up with a tricky answer. He even called my reasoning, Mr. Slacker’s rule.

But I wasn’t finished yet. I knew the hardest part of the next case too. So when the time came I raised my hand.

My hard work and genius began to pay off, as behavioral science began to run its course. Contracts Professor avoided calling on me like the bubonic plague. Cue Beethoven “Ode to Joy”

I raised my hand again. It kept on working.

Contracts Professor has yet to call on me again to this day.

I simply read the case real well for one case, and about 1 out of every 4 classes I raise my hand and say something real insightful to appease Contracts Professor.

The slacking world is once again at peace.

Everyone is happy, I get to slack, and Contracts Professor gets insightful information from me on occasion. If he ever gets uppity ill just keep raising my hand and he will stop calling on me.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was a Ms. Question Girl!

3:19 AM  
Blogger Gevork said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:20 PM  
Anonymous Meghan said...

My roommate forwarded this to me, because it is seriously my life!!! ...Finally, someone understands how horrible I felt when I walked into Contracts class last week, not having read the material, and was grilled by the instructor!!! Thanks for the help--I will definitely have to try out this new tactic!!!

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like your entire blog is just a watered down version of the paper chase...

cough, bullshit.

4:26 AM  

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